Grief 2024

“Here’s the truth about grief: loss gets integrated, not overcome.  However long it takes, you heart and your mind will carve out a new life amid this weirdly devasted landscape.  Little by little, pain and love will find ways to coexist.”  Megan Devine

Grief and loss are not only the death of a loved one (both human and our beloved pets) but can also be the loss of a job, identity or health.  You are grieving the loss, of what was and is no longer available to you.

Others may not recognise your loss, and this can complicate matters as they may not realise why you are stressed out, sad or even angry at the world.  This is often described as disenfranchised grief.

If you have an impending death, through a life limiting illness – the grief is often described as anticipatory grief.  Grieving prior to the death and this can occur for both the person with the illness and those who love them.  The grief begins as their hopes and dreams are cut short due to the illness and shortened life span.  Unfortunately, we need to also go through the grief process again, when the loved one leaves this world.

For some people, they grieve in private, and others may find themselves being emotional in a public setting.  If this happens to you, please be kind to yourself at this time and allow yourself the space to go through the emotional storm that envelopes you. 

There is no timeline for grief and whilst the stages of grief may be similar for many people, we often bounce through the stages in different ways, and it is not a linear process.  We used to think that there were stages of grief, such as, shock, denial, anger, bargaining, depression, testing and acceptance.  We now know that the hole of grief remains, however, life learns to grow around the hole.  The grief process is different for us all and there is no correct way to grieve, we all grieve differently and this is further complicated by the relationship we had with the person, our emotional

Grief can be like the ocean.  At times, the waves may be gentle and at other times it may feel like a tsunami and be brutal.  Learning to live without our loved ones is often a difficult process.

Take care and remember to breathe.