Stress 2025

“If you really want to escape the things that harass you, what you’re needing is not to be in a different place but to be a different person.”  Lucius Annaeus Seneca

This week’s conversation is around stress and how we manage it (or not)!

We all experience stress and/or stressful situations; however, we all have a window of tolerance and the width of this, may make some situations worse than at other times.

Let me try and explain this concept a little bit clearer.  Imagine a rectangle – this is your window.  At times, the window becomes narrower as the environment and the impact on you happens.  You may not be sleeping well, not eating as well and your self-care is down.  When life’s events happen, your tolerance is less than when it is fuller.  Little “issues” may impact on you with a more reactive response than previously.

If you find that this is happening for you, there are ways to widen your window.  Practising mindfulness, especially mindfulness of breath.  Mindfulness helps us to get back into ourselves and thirty minutes each day assists us learning to be in the present moment, despite being uncomfortable. 

Grounding is another element that helps.  For me, this is pushing my feet into the floor.  I can do this sitting or standing.  It helps me reconnect to the earth.  For my Aboriginal friends, it is being on their Country.  I have a friend who was born near the ocean, when troubled, the river provides respite.  True healing is when she is back to the ocean, the Country that she was born and grew up in.

Calming the body, think fidget toys or body lotion.  Things that aid in getting rid of the nervous energy or reactivate you.  Mindfulness of breath also aids in calming the body and the brain.

For me, when my window of tolerance is smaller – my brain tells me the most horrible things.  Recognising these and countering with positive statements about myself can assist.

New choices are also valuable.  Do I need to change something or talk to someone?  What could I do to change the situation?  Using a tool, such as a decisional matrix may assist in working out which way to go.  Looking at both the negative and positive aspects of each decision.  Making an informed decision.

Another aspect to explore is your self-care plan.  Perhaps you have not been investing time in you, and this is impacting on the width of your window?

Or alternately, perhaps you are having a normal stress response to an event.  This too, can take time and impacts on us all.  If this is the case, you need to nurture yourself whilst you work through this event.  For those grieving a loss, this also takes time.

Be kind to yourself in all these situations, especially when we are all busy as the end of the year is nearly upon us.