Self-regulation

“If we cannot count on ourselves to do the right thing, how can we count on anyone or anything else? Self-government won’t work without self-discipline.” Paul Harvey

This week’s conversation is self-regulation, and this can be difficult at times, especially when emotions are high and/or personal boundaries have been crossed.

I often state in the room that we can only control ourselves, however, I do know that there are times when we all go outside our window of tolerance and do not act with control due to the flight/fight/freeze responses.  It is how we repair the relationship if we cause harm or damage another’s feelings or property.  Acceptance also is the other person’s choice, and we must also respect this.

When providing education about the window of tolerance, I also discuss what can assist in bringing us back into our own window.  One where we are acting in accordance with our own belief system and in control.  Things like mindfulness (including mindfulness of breath), grounding, self-soothing and positive self-talk when our own negative voice keeps us on a loop.

A great self-care plan is also essential to be the best version of yourself.  A plan that not only looks at the physical health, one that looks at all the aspects of you.  The mental and emotional wellbeing, spiritually, financially, socially and the work-life balance.  This allows us all to be more present and helps us bounce back quicker when life throws curve balls.  It also allows us to have the courageous discussions with others, whether personal or work related and to solve problems without making the situation worse.  A wonderful self-care plan can assist us all in making better decisions that sit well with our values and how we see the world.

I also acknowledge that there are times when finances are tight, this means that your self-care plan needs to be able to be replicated without the expenses of a gym or studio.  Can you do the same exercise or art at home or have a less expensive option? 

Many of you are aware that mosaics play a big role in my self-care plan.  I attend the studio each term and work on the current project.  During the school holidays, I need to either replace this activity with others to fill in my plan OR do mosaics at home.  Thankfully, I have set a place in my shed for this and have many tools available and space ready to go.  I am even looking towards getting a dedicated she shed for this dedicated space to improve.

I am then hopeful of improving my spare time and finishing projects in a more timely manner!