Being authentic
“Don’t worry about being good. Aspire to be authentic.” Yann Martel
This week’s conversation is about being authentic and being your true self.
This is not always easy to do and although society states that they value difference, is that correct?
I reflect in various workplaces and community groups and often group think is prided above a voice of difference, or from a different perspective. People often voice being flexible, but when it comes to the crunch – this may not be the experience.
It is difficult at times to be your authentic self, living by your values and ethics in a work environment. This can be more so, when you are outside the clique and/or group norm. Standing up and questioning others behaviour can be intimidating, however at times it is also necessary. Working in and with community brings its challenges and whilst I understand humour can lighten the load; we also need to be careful about how we speak about those we work with. This includes both the clients and colleagues. How we talk about people can really show a difference between what we say we are and what we do.
I know for me, I usually have a big reaction to someone when my values have been compromised and/or a boundary pushed. When I take the time to sit with my discomfort and what happened, I then discover why I feel like I do. After the event, I need to decide my path forward and how (if I choose) to respond. Dependent on the severity of the incident, I may choose to speak with the person, or not! I may decide to vote with my feet without any conversation at all.
I often utilise the concept and visual of the circles of control, influence and care. This also applies to me; I can only control what I do and speak. I can influence those around me, but I can’t make anyone take it up.
I visited a friend recently and she spoke of finally being able to dress for herself, not what society expected. She stated that she finally feels able to do this, what works for her and her comfort. Perhaps that is a lesson for us all.