“A question of proof. That’s a good title for a detective story, if you ever write one.”Nicholas Blake
This quote reminds me of fact checking the stories that we often tell ourselves, the stories about of our negative thinking and thinking errors. Searching the evidence to see if our thoughts are actually true, or are they our perceptions, based on the constant stories about how we can’t do something and that we always get things wrong?
Checking for evidence can be difficult when our minds have been trained this way for a while, the more ingrained the thinking errors, means it is more difficult to challenge. If your thinking has been entrenched for some time , it may be best to check with a close friend or even a professional. You may get a clearer picture or a more honest answer than the one you are giving yourself.
Thinking errors can have lasting impressions and can skew the way in which you view the world. Check your language and if you have a lot of “should” in your vocabulary – perhaps it is time to challenge your thoughts as they may be extreme and rigid, perhaps even black or white or right or wrong. Rigid thinking doesn’t allow for any grey areas or flexibility. This way of thinking may even be stopping you from trying new things in your life. This way of thinking may have been instilled in us from an early age. Unfortunately, we only need to hear negative things about ourselves only seven times before we believe them, whether that be our own voice or that of others. To have positive thoughts instilled, it is many thousands of times!
So that fact for me, implores me to ask you to make certain that when you are speaking to yourself or others. Please use positive language and if you do hear someone being hard on themselves, show them the evidence that what they are saying isn’t true all the time.
If you would like to learn more about the impact of negative thoughts, please reach out and we could discuss further.