Emotional Regulation ’26
“It is worth pointing out that feeling things (which usually means feeling them painfully) is at some level linked to the acquisition of knowledge.” Alain de Botton
This week’s topic is about emotional regulation, and it is also interesting that the day in which I write about this, is the anniversary of the commencement of my treatment of breast cancer! I had a mastectomy on the 1st of September 2020 as one of many steps during this journey.
As you can imagine, there were lots of huge emotions during the lead up to this date and treatment option. It was also the time in which we were all locked down due to COVID and part of the lead up to surgery also meant being isolated to ensure that I was clear prior to hospitalisation and surgery. It also meant that I was dropped at the door and having to walk in this day on my own. It was quite a scary and overwhelming day.
In the week’s leading up to this day, I also had to speak to my adult children about the diagnosis and treatment options. That was also difficult conversations with me having to take a moment between each call. Then the calls and messages to the close friends, knowing that I had to make them without seeing them in person, it was a difficult space. I also made the decision to shut down my practice for a period, advising the clients and giving them options in the community. Ringing my colleagues asking them to assist was also a tough conversation, as it was the first time that many of them had heard the news.
It was also a very foreign time for me, being the recipient of health and not the provider. Learning how to sit in the opposite chair was an uncomfortable position for me to be in. Not all conversations with health professionals went the way I expected, and I found myself having to negotiate foreign worlds, without the assistance afforded to others. I am still uncertain to this day of why I fell through some cracks. Was it that they thought I could manage on my own due to my own profession? Regardless, I was new to this health journey and could have used some of their expertise.
I was challenged on my treatment option of a mastectomy by a health professional, this was a complete shock to me, and it still worries me that other women may also experience this. For me, this was a personal choice that was based on several factors; my age, my recovery and the placement and size of the cancer itself. I should not have to justify my decision to anyone, especially someone who is supposed to be supporting me. Having said that, there were also many health professionals who assisted me during this time, and I thank them for their assistance.
There were many times that I needed to regulate my emotions or even just acknowledge them. This journey was a testing time; however, it also showed me who was important to me and my family. The support we received was very much appreciated (and overwhelming). It also assisted me in taking my own advice and cementing mindfulness of breath techniques into my toolbox. It is always ironic that the teacher is also the student in life.
Women’s Health week begins next Monday 7th September, and this is a friendly reminder that we all need to take our health seriously, have the checks and follow up with your health professionals. Prevention and/or early detection is key.