Boundaries 2025

“Your personal boundaries protect the inner core of your identity and your right to choices.”

Gerard Manley Hopkins

Boundaries are often a difficult subject – many of us have problems in making and keeping the boundaries for a number of reasons, especially if you are a people pleaser, are afraid of rejection and/or conflict, or it is a strained relationship.

We have had an added house member in recent times and whilst the first week or so went well, we are noticing that our personal boundaries and house rules – need to be explained and maintained over time.  It is also more difficult to have those conversations when it is not your own child or young person, without the history of having that “bank” of deposits over the years, or it is a newer relationship.

I remember when our now adults, were teenagers and they felt the need (or obsession) to try and stretch the limits of our boundaries.  We were always mindful of what battles needed to be defended and which ones to let go! I am not so sure, that it gets easier over time OR that muscle memory has faded.

I imagine this is the same for many households at the moment, as school holidays have either begun or beginning at the end of this week.  Not everyone is on holidays with the young people, and this also adds stress which lessens the tolerance of those involved.  It is more difficult to hold the boundary when stressed or emotions are high.

Going from a family of two adults that have been on our own for a period of time (read a very long time) and used to having our own personal space – has been challenging, for all parties involved.  Learning how to negotiate through these changes are difficult enough, without the issue of our boundaries.  What is important to us, both personally and as a team. 

Being brave enough to hold the boundaries, despite the difficulties is important for us all to survive the turbulent times.

 I am hopeful that you too, are being brave despite the challenges of life.