Fairness ’26

“Do not complain of life’s unfairness. It is never fair – at best it is impartial.”  David Gemmell

When I think of fairness, I like the Merriam-Webster definition: the quality or state of being fair; fair or impartial treatment; lack of favouritism towards one side or another.

I like to think that I operate on a fairness system, both personally and professionally, however do notice that life is not always fair and just.  I can only control my part in this and can try to influence others, but in the end, the choice is theirs.

I like to give people the choice of available appointments, and they can also go online to check what works for them best.  In a previous life as a receptionist, our booking system was solely manual, and the staff could be the gatekeepers to this precious commodity.  I imagine that with internet bookings, this has opened the diary to the consumers and rightly so.

The same with couple’s work, I aim to be impartial with both clients in the room.  It is not for me to judge and/or take sides.  What has happened has happened and the are trying to work through the difficulty of this situation.  They do not need me to say who is right or wrong – they need guidance to work in and on their relationship, to decide what is amicable for them and how to navigate the hurt and pain.

The same concept applies with individual therapy; the client needs to find their own solution and what works for them.  I can suggest some ideas or possible therapy, however, the are the ones that need to do the work, and it needs to fit in the way they view the world.

There is a standing joke in our house of who is the “favourite child”.  I often speak of them in birth order, not preference as this is always subject to change.  The same with the grandchildren, they are always a favourite for a special reason.  My husband has a “favourite aunty”, the only one until his uncles married.  She is still the favourite, even when the kids were little and said, “Dad has different aunties”.  Aunty Gwen always stated, “I am still the favourite” and rightly so.  She earnt this title from age ten, when my husband was born.

Hoping that life is treating you well presently and if not, that it improves shortly.