Reality

“Scars have the strange power to remind us that our past is real.”  Cormac McCarthy

This week’s conversation is around “reality” and at times, we all get triggered from an event that has happened in the past.  This is no different for those of us who also work in the roles of therapists and/or counsellors.

Whilst away in Cairns recently, all was going well until the end of the trip and we went for a visit up in Kuranda and explored their markets.  All of a sudden, through my peripheral vision – I saw a snake and yelled out.  My husband looked down and couldn’t see it, although I had run towards the road.  He then noted a lady wearing the said snake like a boa as she was walking down the walkway in the shopping area.  I had been triggered…..

When I was fourteen, I recalled a nightmare to my dad.  I was four or five years old and had a snake chasing me (on their tale), I saw a footbridge and dad with an axe.  He told me that this wasn’t a dream……

For nearly ten years, my older brother and the two younger ones, laughed at me when snakes came on the television.  I was either frozen in my chair or hiding behind the lounge hysterical.  They thought it was a hoot.

From the age of fourteen, my older brother disclosed he was stirring up the snake and her babies in the nest with a stick.  The snake turned on me and I ran like crazy to dad. 

I visited my brother a few years ago and he still recalls this event with a laugh or two, whilst I have been left traumatised. 

The rest of the day in Cairns was a little unsettling.  We had a bus tour planned that afternoon and we were enjoying coffee and scones at the café.  The gardener was busy feeding his plants, when he jostled the plant next to me.  I certainly jumped and screamed from that little encounter.  The gardener also got a fright with my reaction, although we both were able to laugh it off after the event.

Reflecting on this event and the other times I have been triggered; I know that I could seek exposure therapy to reduce my reactions, however, also am aware of the limited times that I will encounter a snake!  I must admit though, my reaction in Cairns was fairly mild – so perhaps I am improving?